Our reference today is on the character trait ‘Persistence ‘in relation to walking out of widowhood. What it means, why it is very important to horn this trait, to recover from loss, and 7 traits that model such a persistent character.
WHAT IS PERSISTENCE?
Persistence is the ability to hold your ground and focus purely on what you are aiming to achieve. This could be a goal, building a project, addressing, and dealing with a strategy that will enable you to follow through until you get your desired result.
This is most applicable in every area of our lives, e.g., in walking out of widowhood, in business, in building and in maintaining fruitful relationships and even when you pray in faith waiting for a specific outcome. I refer to this has continuing pushing through until you get that result required. It is the act of being bold and courageous unto the desired result is tangible and solid.
Many of us know exactly what we want, and we do set a process in place to achieve that plan. What we sometimes do not make an allowance for is the delays and possible obstacles that might divert or delay our precise and specific timeline.
For example, you may decide to invest in buying a property once every 6 months. You set your goal start from the objective and work backwards in this timeline. What you might not include might be e.g., economic climate effects, the vender perhaps not getting the funds or changing their mind or deciding to up the stakes. This will then throw all your plans into sink.
This is most relevant when it is an issue much closer to our hearts. For example, a child we have raised but is challenging us in many ways.
What might be happening is that you had an easier experience raising your first or second child, while your third child might need a different strategy applied, to achieve a similar outcome.
It is for you to recognise this,apply a need perspective and strategy to engineer success. You must decide to go the long haul to get desired outcomes.
This can also be applied to grief and navigating widowhood. The ups and downs of emotions will be experienced,but you have to be determined to want to see yourself getting stronger, riding each storm and getting back up again.
HOW NOT TO GIVE UP ON GRIEF!
Giving up too soon tends to be what many do. Not giving up requires 3 actions:
1.Adapting and identifying fresher strategies to apply to recovery.
2.Not pandering to our emotions when challenged. Leaning in yet getting back up.
3.And resolving to stay the longest course whatever it takes. Seeking all the help required to recover from loss.
Continually pushing through until you see the transformation required.
A SHORT STORY ABOUT A PERSISTANT WIDOW.
“In a certain city there was a judge who did not fear God and did not respect man. “There was a widow in that city, and she kept coming to him, saying, ‘Give me legal protection from my opponent.’ “For a while he was unwilling; but afterward he said to himself, ‘Even though I do not fear God nor respect man, yet because this widow bothers me, I will give her legal protection, otherwise by continually coming she will wear me out.’
“We are meant to not loose heart and continue to pray or pursue the desired outcome for recovery in loss or other losses. Continue to push through and never consider losing heart.
Persistence refers to how long you are able and willing to stick to a task, even when it is challenging. Some individuals are willing to keep working at something, even when they run into roadblocks along the way. Other people may be more willing to drop a task that is difficult and move on to something else.
PERSISTENCE AS A TEMPERAMENT.
Temperament refers to personality traits that determine how someone reacts to the world. Are they quiet or exuberant? Easy-going or apprehensive? The traits of temperament are mostly innate traits that we are born with, although they can be influenced by an individual’s family, culture, or their experiences. A person’s temperament style plays a role in how they behave and how they interact with other people and within their world.
Children with high persistence may be able to independently work through problems without much adult assistance and may be more inclined to work on tasks alone. Parents may want to check in with persistent children to see how they are doing when they are working through a problem and offer support if the child wants it. Children with low persistence may give up quickly or be overwhelmed with frustration when they find a task tough.
Letting your daily schedule and your expectations vary to meet your child’s persistence can prevent conflict and stress and allow your child to have their needs met in a way that plays to their strengths and builds upon their natural temperament. Kylie Rymanowicz, Michigan State University Extension – February 07, 2018
In any discussion of the attributes of successful people, persistence is always mentioned, often as the, or one of the most important factors in success.
Major success seldom comes easily or without a great deal of effort. Often the only difference between those who succeed and those who do not is the ability to keep going long after the rest have dropped out.
It is relatively easy to persist when things are going well and we see progress, but highly persistent people have found ways to keep going despite major setbacks and a lack of evidence that they are moving closer toward their goals.
7 TRAITS PERSISTENT PEOPLE HAVE IN COMMON.
Here are some of the things that persistent people have in common that keeps them going long after most people have given up:
Persistent people have a goal or vision in mind that motivates and drives them. They are often dreamers and visionaries who see their lives as having a higher purpose than simply earning a living. Their vision is deeply ingrained, and they focus on it constantly and with great emotion and energy. They often think of this vision first thing when they wake up and last thing before they go to bed. Reaching this goal becomes the focal point of their life and they devote a major portion of their energies and time toward reaching it.
2. A BURNING DESIRE
Entrepreneur and motivational speaker Jim Rohn once said, “If you really want to do something, you will find a way. If you do not, you will find an excuse.”
Persistent people want it bad, really bad, and they never look for an excuse or a way out. What keeps highly persistent people going is their powerful level of desire.
Repeated failures, dead ends, and periods when it seems like no progress is being made often come before any major breakthroughs happen. Persistent people have the inner energy and intensity to keep them motivated and going through these tough times.
People who overcome the odds and achieve greatly are often described as “marching to the beat of their own drummer.” They know what they want and are seldom swayed by the opinion of the masses.
Having a highly developed sense of who they are allows the highly persistent to continue without being greatly affected by what others think of them or being understood or being appreciated by those around them.
While that inner confidence gets challenged and shaken, it never gets destroyed and constantly acts as a source of courage and determination.
Rohn also once said, “Motivation is what gets you started. Habit is what keeps you going.”
Highly persistent people know it is very difficult to stay continually motivated, particularly during difficult times and when it appears that no progress is being made. They have come to rely upon their self-discipline and developing habits they can count on to continue down the path toward their eventual goals. They believe the results of the efforts they make today may not be seen for a long time, but they strongly believe that everything they do will count toward their outcome in the end.
Persistent people have the ability to adjust and adapt their action plan. They do not stubbornly persist in the face of evidence that their plan is not working but look for better ways that will increase their chances of success.
The highly persistent see their journey as a series of dead ends, detours, and adjustments but have complete faith they will reach their final destination. They are not tied into their ego and are quickly willing to admit when something is not working. As well, they are quick to adapt the ideas of others that have been shown to work well.
Persistent people realize that any goal worth reaching will take time, effort, and continuously learning new skills and thinking patterns. They welcome change and new ideas and continue looking for ways they can incorporate these into their lives.
Ongoing learning is seen as part of a process through which the highly persistent continually expand the range of tools that they have to work with. Naturally curious, persistent types not only see learning as a way to reach their goals more quickly, but they also see self-development as a way of life. Learning and continual growth do not end at a certain age or stage of life, but they are the essence of life itself, and therefore never-ending.
While it may appear that highly persistent people act alone and do not need anyone, most have a carefully chosen group of people they admire and emulate. These can be people who are actually involved in their lives as mentors/confidantes, or they can be figures who they have read about and who have deeply impacted them. You will know who these people are since persistent people will often quote them.
Persistent people usually stand out from their environment and are often misunderstood or ridiculed because they can make those around them feel uncomfortable. Having strongly ingrained models helps persistent people sustain.
and motivate themselves in an environment that is not always supportive.
By Harvey Deutschendorf ‘Fast Company’ April 1,2015
Building resilience takes time, strength and help from people around you. Being resilient does not mean that people do not experience stress, emotional upheaval, and suffering. Demonstrating resilience includes working through emotional pain and suffering.
Resilience theory tells us that it is not a fixed trait – you can grow your capacity to practice resilience. And it is not constant in that you might demonstrate a lot of resilience when it comes to one challenge, you are faced with but struggle more with being resilient when it comes to another stressor you are up against. Resilience is a character trait that will enable you to walk through widowhood.
That is find a new life and purpose in your current singleness.
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