Acceptance in Loss, while Walking out of Widowhood!
When I lost my husband 8 years ago, I can honestly say it was the most challenging valley I found myself. Plus, the highest mountain I have had to climb over.
When this happened, I had the personal choice to either to drown or swim. The greatest gift God has given me, to enable my recovery has been Joy. Joy has cradled me through grief and continues to engineer my personal growth and discovery.
I can laugh most heartily in the dire of situations. Joy is God and God is Joy, Joy does not negate all other emotions – Joy transcends all other emotions. Ann Voskamp (Zondervan,2011)
So, to really put my past behind and expect greater things I had to accept that my husband had passed and discover a new life for myself. The first light bulb moment I had in this journey was the lord prompting me quite clearly after a month of loss that I must take off my sack cloth.
In Christianity this means that I should start addressing the loss and start navigating how to overcome this seemingly unsurmountable valley.
So, after a period of self-realisation and fighting the tide that tries to draw one back. Personally, acceptance goes much deeper than just agreeing to the loss. It requires a realistic personal awareness and positive intent.
I have come to acceptance in three ways:
- I accept the fact that I will no longer see or share a life with my late husband.
- That all the plans and dreams I shared must be left behind.
- That I must choose to dare to dream a new dream for myself. Rewriting a new road map with Joy and successful expectations.
From acceptance comes purpose driven expression. This is expressed in five unique ways
- Empowering and encouraging other widows to find their way from the devastation of Grief. I use my writings as a cathartic tool to identify solutions for widows. In the first 2 years of loss, my Blog gives a personal dialogue of action implemented to successfully navigate grief.
- My E-Book ‘walking out of widowhood’ provides ideas and solutions to specific challenges that widows come upon during this journey.
- The Podcast teachings give a practical tool in which to catalogue and journey with widows, strengthening and simultaneously walk weekly alongside.
- The Coaching service stirs widows/single women on how to roll out their practical work/life vision.
- While networking and reaching out to individuals/communities that empower widows, eventually engage in sponsor ventures. The dream is to sponsor a Widow charity somewhere on this journey.
So, to conclude grief has the potential to be an immensely growth experience. Allowing us to dig deeper to find that immutable spirit that the lord has gifted all of us with. The simple yet empowering words I say to Widows is a greater purpose can come out of loss. We just need to dare to dream greater!
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